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A Night with the Living Dead
By Jack Moore
It was a typical Saturday night in the theater district last night... That is until the gates of hell opened. Hoards of the living dead who were penned up in Jones Plaza, poured out into the streets of downtown Houston. Slowly but surely the shambling mass of blood, latex and grease paint made its way between the city’s skyscrapers. Theater goers dressed to the nines stopped in their tracks on the sidewalk and tried desperately not to make eye contact. Drivers trapped at intersections locked their doors in a symphony of clicks as the mass shuffled by.
The surprisingly well behaved hoard of the damned was an eclectic mix of characters including zombie hunters, S.T.A.R.S. officials from the Resident Evil Series, an Abraham Lincoln (of the zombie hunter variety), towering ghouls on stilts, Casey Jones, and even a larger than life Gizmo from the Gremlins.
The 1,300 strong mass circled back to Jones Plaza after conquering Houston and were greeted by the spectacular 80’s rock sounds and hilarious antics of the Spazmatics.
The Houston Zombie walks signature event was preceded by multiple events leading up to last night’s invasion. The year round charity walk also hosts pub crawls, art shows and charity balls, all in an effort to support local Houston charities. Proceeds from the October 27th walk will go to support the Houston Children’s Charity, The Houston Humane Society and the Dove key Ranch Wildlife Rehab Center.
The Dead of Winter
Part 3 of our four part series in partnership with the Houston Zombie Walk! Considering I'm a Texas boy, I don't suspect this will come in handy here in H-Town, but you never know. If the Dead Walk, who's to say we wont see a blizzard in downtown. Just saying.
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How to Zombie Proof Your Car
10-11-2012
Pop Quiz - The Zombie Apocalypse just started *squee* and you need to zed proof your ride pronto *poop*. What do you do? WHAT... do you do? Well the chaps over at Mighty Car Mods had a few ideas. I'm not sure we would have gone with a 97 Nissan Pathfinder, but I guess you can't be choosy when that nice Ned fellow next store now has a hankering for what's on your mind. Check out their practical tips for fortifying your ride with stuff from around the house.
Mighty Car Mods teach you how to survive the zombie apocalypse. Complete guide from vehicle choice, through to car mods and weapons.
Join Marty & MOOG as they teach you how to modify your car, in the worlds #1 online car show. "Its Top Gear Meets Waynes World with some Mythbusters Thrown In!
Check them out at www.mightycarmods.com
Living with the Dead
Part 2 of our four part series in partnership with the Houston Zombie Walk! This week we explore living with the dead. Special thanks to the Commander and Chief of the Hoard, Darren for the concept and to our Twitter follower @Odins_ravin04 for the suggestion on zombie games.
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LIFE AFTER INFECTION
We are stoked to bring you this sickening series in partnership with the Houston Zombie Walk Downtown! Over the next few weeks, we will release a series of “How to” guides based on surviving Zombie apocalypse! Life After Infection (1 of 4 PSAs) is based on multiple sources, including the Center of Disease Control’s manual for setting up a field hospital during an Ebola outbreak in a 3rd world county! Check it out here.
Thanks to the Houston Zombie Walk for helping us spread the word! Don't miss the Houston invasion on October 27th at Jones Plaza. Gates open at 5pm. Tickets: $15 donation. All proceed go to support the Houston Children's Charity, Houston Human Society and Dove Key Ranch Wildlife Rehabilitation.
Are you tired of risking life and limb just to sip the sweet nectar of necropolis? Well moan no more Zed suckers; Harcos Laboratories in Santa Monica, California does the dirty work for you! “If a zombie bites you, it’s bad. If you bite a zombie, it’s crazy delicious!” says Dr. Amad Cyontist.
Crazy delicious indeed! That is, it would be crazy to call this postmortem pick-me-up delicious.
Taking my first sip, I applied some lessons from a wine tasting class so that I may fully appreciate the energy potion’s bouquet of flavor. Poor choice. Weighing in with 10 milligrams of iron (55% of the daily value), Zombie blood has an overwhelming metallic blood-like taste. Yep, you get what you pay for folks. By the way, the “lime flavoring” does nothing to stave off the gag reflex. After forcing down the first taste, a chalky film coated my tong and that left “something” lodged in back of my throat. Deciding this was not a sipping drink, I opened the IV drip wide open and powered down this “Disturbing Source of Electrolytes.”
That evening, I ran my best 5k 2 years – without being chased by zombies. Sleep did not come easy either. Zombie Blood only offers a moderate dose of caffeine, roughly 80mg per 3.4 fluid ounce serving. By comparison, a cup of black brewed coffee ranges from 80 – 135mg of caffeine. However, there is something to be said about the top secret blend of Amino Acids and Enzymes tucked away in that chalky aftertaste.
Overall, Zombie Blood Energy Potion is a fun addition to your apocalypse survival pack and is good for a laugh among your more lively friends. It will give you a bone rattling case of jitters that is handy in putting on a burst of speed, but be warned -- it sends your aim to straight to hell. If you’re looking to do more running than shooting, this creepy 3.4 oz bag of slime is the synthetic solution for!
The Panaceax CHAINSAW BAYONET!
Next to the epic Rocket Propelled Chainsaw, this is the sweetest fantasy anti-zombie armament I’ve ever seen. And the best part is that it is no fantasy! What was originally concocted as a marketing stunt for a gun show, met with overwhelming demand. Well fucking DUH! Look at that thing! All you have to do is post this picture on your front door and you will never, ever be robbed.
GUARANTEED!
(Author assumes no responsibility for home defense tactics involving a printer, despite the aforementioned bolded and italicized guarantee.)
The chainsaw bayonet is designed to fit most AR rail systems. The custom machined aluminum housing supports a ten inch blade and is powered by an 18v Lithium Ion battery. Although it sounds puny, it eats Menacing Munches for breakfast. Panaceax, the manufacturer, swears that it will cut through a 12” log without binding and it has NO SAFTEY SWITCH! If you want to be a bad ass, you have to be committed --with your wallet that is. This beast will set you back a cool five Bills; rifle not included. For what amounts to the world’s finest “daughter’s punk boyfriend repellent”, $500 is a bargain.
Okay, Okay – I know you hard core “maylay is the only way” zombie apocalypse purists are screaming at your screen right now. Everyone knows that bullets are in short supply and chainsaws spray potentially contaminated gristle and gore all over the place, but be honest… if you found this thing in an abandoned gun shop, you would totally go all Metal Gear Solid on whatever walker (or suspicious looking coke can) crossed your path. Am I right!? No?
Zombie Research Society Founder Matt Mogk Talks Zombie Survival Tips
August 7, 2012
First, says Mogk, evaluate a shelter on the DSM scale, for Defensibility, Sustainability, and Mobility. He also points out that dying of dehydration should be your biggest concern (aside from, you know, getting your limbs torn off by a zombie). If you get trapped somewhere without water, you could be dead within three days.
So where is Mogk heading when the zombies rise from the dead? Nipton, California, a small solar-powered town that can generate its own energy, produce food, and is isolated enough to defend.
This book smashes together three fantastic themes, a prison break, Star Wars & zombies. Then it mutates the resulting steaming heap of flesh and blasters into a claustrophobic, fast paced narrative that is sure to set your teeth on edge.
As a story set in the family friendly Star Wars universe, I was certain that it would steer clear of the deeper darker corners of horror writing, using force pushes and wound cauterizing light sabers to doge wall splattering gore. Nope. Joe Schreiber traps you into a grind house story line with the only key out buried deep inside your chest. Star digging kiddos. How this ever received George Luca’s blessing is far beyond me, but thank god it did. Put on your galoshes, it’s going to get grisly in here.
Check out this short excerpt. WARNING: Minor Spoilers:
The effect at close range was nothing short of spectacular. Warden Kolths entire cranial vault sheared away in a dense cloud of scarlet, gristle, and bone. His neck and shoulders flopped sideways, torqueing on some invisible axis with the leftover momentum of the energy blast, and then landed with a wet splat, skidding backward in the spattered reservoir of blood.
I KNOW, RIGHT!
I applaud Schreiber’s decision to leave out the mystic ways of the force and place our characters in the world of blasters and hand-to-hand combat. There is no ace up the sleeve and the characters (love-em or hate-em) have to rely on their one wit, resources and skill to evade being eaten alive. That being said, I look forward to digging into the darker side of the force when I pick up the prequel to Death Troopers, Red Harvest
I have one word of warning for you. If you’re looking for a traditional sci-fi epic with a meaningful reflection on humans and technology, take a pass. While the zombie origin story is interesting and complements the storyline, this book caters to the “adventure” type of story that Star Wars fans love. If you’re a big Star Wars fan, you’re in for quite a treat.
One of my favorite parts of this sick twist in the Star Wars universe is the fantastic wellspring of fan art and merchandise that has followed suit. Check out this brilliant sculpture by Gentle Giant!
In Season 2 of AMC's hit series "The Walking Dead", the gang uncovers a sick cache of Gerber Tools, aptly named the “Apocalypse Kit.” In the recently release production stills for Season 3, it’s pretty clear that our ragtag band of imperfect heroes are about to use this kit to grizzly effect!
In the still above we see Rick Grimes awkwardly yielding what we’ve identified as Gerber’s Gator Machete. Gerber describes it as “..a two pronged attack with both a fine edge and serrated edge. Forged of high-carbon stainless steel, the flesh of the undead and their viral residue never stick to the Gator’s blade. Made to protect you and your loved ones in the harshest of post-outbreak environments, it’s a dual-purpose machete made to withstand the worst that the uprising has to offer.
*Other uses include sawing limbs and clearing brush.” Gerber offers no clarification on the word “Limbs”.
Aaaaand did we procure one? YOU BET YOUR ROTTING SAGGY ZOMBIE BUM WE DID! We want to see if this wicked looking saw/machete (Yes that’s right, one side is a freaking SAW) holds up to regular hum drum yard work as well as it appears to in the zombie apocalypse. It looks incredible, but how does it perform? Stay tuned…
Other “tools” from the “Apocalypse Kit” that are seen in the production stills include the Survival Series Parang (Meg), The “Epic” knife (Daryl – such a bad ass), and… what’s that T-Dogs got? Is that a fireplace poker? Awe for Pete’s sake.
